Miss Approachable
Maybe this isn't as bad as the time I sat next to that guy with a prosthetic arm on a long haul flight, and he kept prodding me with it to ask me questions.
But fake arm or otherwise, it's the prodding to ask questions I really take issue with. Like this guy. Shoulders McElbowson. Who was crossing into my territory of the arm rest barrier the whole flight, and passed the time by randomly prodding me to ask questions.
Like where I was going and if I was a student and oh, you're going there for work, what is it that you do, are you from Singapore. Umm. Clearly, monosyllabic responses and a dramatic show of annoyance at removing my earphones were not big enough hints that I didn't care for the impromptu conversation.
And why also did he have to wait till I settled in to go to the bathroom each time? I wouldn't have taken it personally if not for him obviously choosing not to go the three times the guy on his other side got up. He perhaps took me for the friendly sort when I helped find his earphone jack. But it was only because he kept flapping the arm rest up and down like he was trying to extract water from a well. Just call me Miss Approachable.
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Last long-haul I took, a family from the subcontinent brought their kids and what smelled like several kilos of curry-filled diapers. They seemed convinced the kids would vanish or something if they weren't CONSTANTLY tossed/rocked/moved suddenly. One parent would sit in the seat holding the kid and violently rock back and forth like some Dark-Ages flagellant. Of course the kids just screamed constantly...until they passed out. Long before that I'd given spare earplugs to the guy sitting next to me. Gratitude in abundance.
Then I went to sleep, until someone stepped on my stockinged-foot and FELL headlong onto me. Of course, once I'd removed my eyeshade, they'd disappeared...of course I was allright, all they did was stomp on my foot and fall on me, saying "sorry, you OK?" might have contravened some air-ordinance. It hurt like hell but no serious damage.
You can't rely on annoyance-looks. Be psychotic. My favorite tactic (which I've yet to use): hang a piece of string from your mouth, and just stare back at anyone who stares at you. Next long-haul I'm buying a square-meter of neon-green material and wrapping it around my legs and I'm not kidding.
Alternatively, try speaking only in Esperanto or Kilikikakatori. You won't understand yourself, but they won't either. Plus then you can play with their food. Hold up their salad and say: "Mene mene tekel upharsin?" and laugh uproariously. Steal their fork.
Play dirty.
s
